Been a while

Wow I have really been lax on this blog. SO much happened in the last year and so little news on/about/from Tyler. I won't even try to catch it all up. He was in Germany for a year and is now in Iraq. SOMEWHERE.

He was home for his last leave in July and we did get to spend some time together. I was sure to tell him I didn't want to smother him but I DID expect to see him. I told him I knew he wanted and needed to spend time with his friends and it was improtant that he get to enjoy what HE wants - since the next move was to the sand. We spent a day together driving to Ohio and back to visit my folks and one of my brothers and his wife did come by to see Ty. I was grateful for thier thoughtfulness. I was able to take him to lunch when I was off on a Wedenesday. Just lucked out and called the hosue and he was home. I thought he was off camping. His last night in the States we took him out to North Park Lounge. Holly & Travis made it and so did Ty's Dad. It was such fun watchign him play games with his brother and sister. Like old days when they were little.

I still feel much guilt ove rth epast but I'm working on getting past it. I am hoping Tyler & I can work on our Mother/son relationship via mail. e-mail whatever. He doesn't tell me much. And I still get envious if he is in touch with someone else and I don't hear anything. But I'm dealing with it. I have a doctor appt this week because I don't sleep, I cry all the time, I am anxious and fretful and forgetful. But whatever I am dealing with - I can only think what hell he must be dealing with. I mostly fear for his mental health for lack of a better term, What he may see what he may fell what he may experience over there thewe next 15 long months.